Strength

DSC_2344-2.jpg

I've tried to write this for weeks now. Each time words fail me. 

I feel like her story should be shared, but it's still to fresh to relive just yet. 

So for now her story sits in text messages on my phone and in my journal and there it will have to stay for a while. But this I will say, this sweet baby of mine has more courage, strength, faith and happiness then I have ever witnessed from anyone in my life. She endured things that make grown men cry, all the while she smiled and waved. Yes, there were times when she cried out in pain, but even then as I held her in my arms she would look up at me and smile as if to reassure and comfort me. She was my rock when I should have been hers. She was looked out for by angels. Angels who helped me to listen to my mommy heart, not take no for an answer, and be persistant when I could see her turning yellow, but no one else could. She was strong and gave others courage and joy during her own trial. Dr.'s and nurses would visit our room, with no purpose other than to see her smile and wave at them. 

Magnolia is everything I ever hoped I could be. It is an such an amazing blessing and honor to be her Momma.

13 pounds

kristy jo photography_0139.jpg

After being home for one night we had to take you back in to be readmitted. It was terrifying to see you so lethargic. Your eyes were sunken in and black. You felt so light and frail in my arms. The drive there felt like it would never end. I just wanted you to feel better. They weighed you when we arrived. 13 pounds. You weighed the same as you did when she was 3 months old. It happened in happened in just one night. You started to perk up about 8 hours after the fluid IV had started and by the end of the day you were sitting up again. Still weak and frail, but alive.